To my delight, my favorite seat was vacant. The one opposite the rear door. As Iapproach the seat, I notice an unopened can of sauerkraut sitting on the seat. I love sauerkraut, and this was the good kind that’s sold at the Farmer’s Market. So I sit down and put the sauerkraut in my bag, happy as a clam. I looked around the bus, taking in my surroundings, and I locked eyes with a man sitting toward the back of the bus. He is literally staring at me. I give him a polite smile and turn my head to look out the window. A mere moment later, he is right next to me. I look at him, and he plainly says “What’s your name? You have a pretty face.” I tell him my name and ask him his, and we begin a cliché conversation. He asked me what I was up to that day, and I tell him I’m on my way to meet a friend then I’m going to a birthday party. I asked him what he was up he told me he was on his way to a meeting.
“What kind of meeting?”
“I’m in a special program because I have severe schizophrenia.”
Oh. Well, then.
So then he starts asking if he can come with me to meet my friend, and if he can come to the birthday party. Asks if I have a cell phone, to which I replied no, asks who I live with. Do I live with a bunch of pretty girls? Creepy. “No, I live with my husband.”
And at that point he got up and went to sit with another girl about my age. He actually gives her the exact same opening line as he gave me. “What’s your name? You have a pretty face.” I was a little insulted.
5 comments:
hahaahahhahah i love it
Until your uncomfortable conversation, I was taken away by the mystical appearance of pickled cabbage on your favorite seat.
Thanks for that.
Hmmmm, if I were your uncle I'd be concerned. Oh wait, I am your uncle!Please be cautious engaging with creepy older men (unless they are related). Please be cautious when picking up stray sauerkraut (unless it is related). What the hell was it doing there? Was it running away from home? Have you eaten it yet? If so, are you okay?
Actually, you may have the beginnings of a wonderful childrens book. How about:"the wild adventures of a crazy jar of pickled cabbage"? I'd read it.
Hey, and how is it I didn't know you liked sauerkraut? Another thing we have in common (I kid you not, I just ordered a case of my favorite kind and it is occupying way too much space in our fridge).Please come get a jar. Or maybe I'll just go put it on a bus!
I didn't mean to post under that account, sorry.That post was NOT from the "team", just me.
And I have revised the name of the book, it should be "the wild adventures of a crazy jar of tickled cabbage".
And another thought, you often hear of someone leaving their baggage on the bus, but hardly ever their cabbage.
Okay, make me go to bed.
Okay, now I feel really silly, I just realized the post was done by Katie and not Alyssa. Sorry Katie.
However, the offer for the kraut still holds.
Post a Comment